What I wish I could have told myself then

To my younger self.

Cheap jewellery can look expensive and that is just how people are too.

My 13 year self- Friends aren't the people you have fun with and who make you laugh.  They are the ones who feel your hurt with you.  They are the ones who are there in the pit with you, loving you while you're at your most unlovable,  and fighting back the demons along with you. 

My 14 year self- Everyone has a story,  everyone hurts, and everyone is important.  Learn from each person you meet,  and when the time comes,  let them go.

Secrets can't be kept, so don't try. Be openly and fiercely yourself. 

You're going to face alot of hard times. Mom and dad are human too and they will make mistakes,  love them more.

My 15 year self- Your beauty is not defined by how thin you are.  Stop starving yourself, stop hurting yourself, stop hating what you see in the mirror. Gaining weight isn't the end of the world. It's okay to ask for help.

My 16 year self- Dad won't be able to hug and kiss you goodnight anymore. This isn't your fault.  You will be okay.

My 18 year self- It is okay that you aren't okay.  Right now you want to end it but please don't. Please be brave enough to grow from this. 

My 19 year self- Your friends don't understand and they can't.  They don't mean to forget you. They are human too. They are dealing with their own problems.  Don't hold it against them,  love them still.

Don't try to run from your pain by trying to prove that you are worth loving. You have nothing to prove.

My 20 year self- What those men did to you wasn't your fault,  it wasn't the clothes you were wearing or something you did. You're still beautiful.

See beyond this moment,  everything is about to change.

My 21 year self- Don't be afraid of the blessing growing inside of you. He needs you,  and you need him more than you will ever know. God gave him to you knowing you have what it takes.  You deserve to be happy.

To my future self.
Remember what you overcame.